(source: eroticcannibal @ tumblr.com)(source: gynoidgearhead @ tumblr.com)(source: hymnsofheresy @ tumblr.com)(source: letomcfaceman @ tumblr.com)I think one of the most damaging ideologies towards children is the conviction that having children isn’t a calling but a moral obligation.
(source: hymnsofheresy @ tumblr.com)Not to be a crazy radical or anything, but children deserve to be deeply wanted by their parents.
(source: hymnsofheresy @ tumblr.com)Children shouldn’t be a “stage” in life that everyone is obligated to fulfill; childrearing is not for everyone. More importantly, children shouldn’t be state-enforced punishments for “irresponsible” sexual behavior.
Children are people with thoughts and feelings just like the rest of us. They are conscious of the way people treat them. And they can certainly tell when they are unwanted and/or resented.
[Image caption: tags reading “#reblog #i also don’t think it’s enough to want a child. i think you need to want a teenager and an adult too #my mom wanted a baby. when i was too old to pronounce spaghetti wrong and let her put me in church dresses she was done with me #my dad wanted a person. he wanted a baby a child a tween a teen and an adult #my dad wanted to watch a person happen. which was different”. End caption.]
i wanna nitpick on that screenshot just slightly and say its ok for ur feelings to not always be ideal but u MUST NOT let that affect ur parenting like i really am not that fond of little kids and i would have skipped that if i could and i feel the same about older teens but tough shit to me! gotta step the fuck up even if my child isnt my favourite version of itself at the time i have an obligation the realities that ppl dont talk about with parenting is even the most dedicated and loving parents just will not have their heart in it all the time feelings just happen even if u dont want them to go dig through parenting forums if u really wanna break ur heart the important part is understanding that is not the childs fault and commiting to doing ur best no matter how u feel like i know someone who was brave enough to confess that for the first few years she simply did not love her second child no idea why but you would never know he certainly doesnt because she did right by him regardless its like the whole love as a feeling vs as a choice and an act wrt relationships you can always choose to do right even if you dont want to
it's so healing to read this thread, i'm very thankful for everyone talking about this here being both sensitive to the needs of parents and children both but not allowing the feelings of the parent to be treated as more important than the needs of the child. the latter is something that tends to taint even very careful discussions of this topic and is something i'm incredibly sensitive to as a survivor of child abuse that extended into adulthood. because parents do deserve outlets for emotions that could potentially harm their children in some way without being judged, but children also strongly should be treated as people and not objects. the extremely deep and pervasive idea that children are property of their parents before they are people is something i am extremely hostile to and this reaction is something the vast majority of people find shocking and distateful, especially most parents. the idea that children are people is outright rejected by most parents because then how could they justify all the fucked up ways they treat children? that would make them child abusers and oh no, we can't have that. better it be the children who are wrong.
i know "children are people first and are not objects or extensions of their parents" is far too radical for most but i still want for a world where that is seen and treated, both socially and legally, as a universal truth. maybe someday. probably when my bones have long since turned to dust, but i can at least hope the future for the children of tomorrow is brighter than for those of today and yesterday.