OOC history of Silver

this page is a work in progress, so it will be changed and added to later. Silver is an old character for me though, as i've made prototypes of them for decades – much longer than they've even had a solid name! some of my other OCs actually started as prototypes of this character who branched off into vastly different directions than i intended, so i ended up just letting them be their own thing. even in my childhood though i was looking to make the "ultimate" character though, at least to put a little more of myself into than my other original characters, that i would also feel more attached to than my other characters. a good name felt integral, but i couldn't think of anything i liked enough to use for years.
for a while i'd settled on a completely different character to fill this role and gave up on making something that would fit better, but i eventually became dissatisfied by my current "main" character's ability to fit what i wanted of them while still being their own person ...well, person / character / whatever. that character remains dear to me still, but as i let go of them around 2009 i started coming up with some name ideas i liked and used for a while, eventually discarding all the ones i didn't care for until i was left with just the name Silver. and why did the name have to be unique or complicated? Silver felt like the obvious answer that was always sitting right in front of me, and i just somehow never saw it. the rest of the character slowly fell into place after that, becoming the Silver as they are today.


as they are now, Silver is both an original character in my private original works, and is also the main character i use to represent myself when i play any game that lets me represent myself through an avatar. this means they have a lot of "alternate universe" variations for different continuities made by other people, in which they still exist as close to their original incarnation as they can but generally also within what's reasonable for that continuity.
i don't consider them to be me, or an avatar of myself or anything (and i do already have an avatar / fursona, but my fursona is completely different than and separate from Silver); Silver is just a character i've both put a little more of myself into than my others, and have given my personal favorite spread of appearance, personality traits, and skills to finally have made my "ultimate" character. i suppose it then begs the question why couldn't i have just modified any other character to be this for me? why have invested so much time into making a character that culminated in being Silver to have wasted it all so needlessly? and the answer is, well, i'm not sure exactly myself. a lot of things i do by feel, and i can at least tell you it wouldn't 'feel' right to just change a character i already had; i use 'making' as a shorthand for more like... partially trying to craft the character but also seeing how fitting or not fitting what i've made is for that character. and sometimes they have a lot to say about how unfitting my ideas for them are! in that way, they sort of decide for themselves who they are, and smashing them to pieces to remake them anew feels like destroying a person. a pretend person, yes, but they're a little more than just lifeless toys to me. i had to find Silver first and allow them to tell me who they are as i gave them my ideas and plans for them, and the character that finally became Silver flourished in all the ways i wanted them to.
i still love my other characters as well, but i suspect this one will always be most special to me.